So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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