I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
