C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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