Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
