So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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