Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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