Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
