i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
