Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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