Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..