Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!