I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.