I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling