your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.