Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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(909): I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part. http://tfl.nu/wibn

Replies (14) Good night (4483) Bad night (522)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...

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(504): his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time... http://tfl.nu/szlj

Replies (47) Good night (2130) Bad night (7730) Order T-Shirt
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(940): View more from Texas

She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.

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(940): She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one. http://tfl.nu/4xsk

Replies (35) Good night (15367) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.

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(336): I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty. http://tfl.nu/8sow

Replies (8) Good night (4907) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious

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(908): he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious http://tfl.nu/30k1

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(416): View more from Toronto

We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?

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(416): We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard? http://tfl.nu/skft

Replies (12) Good night (5705) Bad night (730)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.

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(920): The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap. http://tfl.nu/xkff

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(662): View more from Mississippi

looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme

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(662): looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme http://tfl.nu/w8jn

Replies (16) Good night (3655) Bad night (1467) Order T-Shirt
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(905): View more from Ontario

i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself

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(905): i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself http://tfl.nu/s870

Replies (6) Good night (3445) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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(315): View more from New York

i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.

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(315): i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there. http://tfl.nu/6jl7

Replies (6) Good night (2544) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.

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(715): I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record. http://tfl.nu/1ug5

Replies (12) Good night (702) Bad night (2724) Order T-Shirt
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(828): View more from North Carolina

is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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(828): is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear? http://tfl.nu/pkiy

Replies (1) Good night (730) Bad night (1474) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?

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(916): Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night? http://tfl.nu/oh7z

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.

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(715): We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her. http://tfl.nu/sx8g

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.

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(832): The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats. http://tfl.nu/ohp9

Replies (2) Good night (911) Bad night (146)

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