You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
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