And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
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I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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