i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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