So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize