Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
