i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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