Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
time to smoke my breakfast
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
