bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
