Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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