i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
