Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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