i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
