An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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