Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
