Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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