so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
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You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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