I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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