Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize