i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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