I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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