so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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