yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize