So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
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Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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