He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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