I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it glows. i had to have it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
they're like a gay fantastic four
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
