I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
