This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
