he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
