Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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