are you still at the devil's house?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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