ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
