I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
