the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
