hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
