Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think I won the penis lottery.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
