im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
