You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
