I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Boobs speak an international language.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
