I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
did i just pee glitter
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
