I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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