Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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