I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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