I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
