Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
