Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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