I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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